The people you meet and the friends you make...

During my recent travels to the States, as well as catching up with old friends and reconnecting with people from long ago, I also had the pleasure of meeting and spending a few days with a blogging friend who I had only met online.

I met Patty online way back in 2008 through our blogs. I remember it was around the time that my brother died of kidney cancer as her husband had kidney cancer too. We made contact at a time when we both needed someone to talk to, when our lives were both in turmoil. Patty's husband of over 10 years Frank, had survived 4 years since his first kidney tumor was removed, though when we met, the cancer had returned and it was stage 4 and she was his full time carer.

He lost his fight and died on February 28th this year. Throughout this time, we have checked in on each other, emailed, visited each others blog and even exchanged snail mail. And so, when I told her I was heading to the States, she booked flights to NYC at the time that we would be there and we spent 3 days together exploring the sights.

It was nice to hang out, to see the sights, to explore NYC together and to meet face to face. It was odd not only meeting Patty in person, but spending 3 days (and nights) together in NYC, and I have to admit, there were some people who thought it was a bit crazy. But it was great fun and we had a ball! And she was not a psycho-killer or stalker!

Patty has two blogs. One is a crafting blog (Midwest Knit Girl), and the other one (My Cancer Hat) talks about her life as carer (and loving partner) of her husband during the cancer treatment.

She no longer posts to My Cancer Hat which was her chance to speak about her and her husband's lives with cancer from the carer's perspective, though it is still active if you would like to visit.

So, Patty was a treat to meet and full of energy and fun. We never stopped for the entire time we were in NYC together and it was lots of fun. She even sat in as lead news reader on the NBC tour! 

And just this Friday, as a halloween treat, I received a package of American candy... I have been on a sugar buzz the entire weekend (notice I have managed to post each day!)

Here we are - Patty, me and my Mum in bright sunshine on the ferry, bound for the Statue of Liberty!

Remembering Renee

My friend Renee died today.

In 2008 when I was grieving the loss of my brother, I was contacted by Renee via my blog and she became a friend from the very beginning. She had stage 4 inflammatory breast cancer and her blog Circling My Head told her story. With almost daily posts, she spoke of her family, her loves, her despair, her joys and her laughter. She shared openly about her condition and her life as she dealt with it's daily challenges.

She offered me hope, understanding and insight, and she offered me her love with an open heart. Although we have never met 'in the flesh' she has been an incredible friend and I will miss her as part of my life. I share the heartbreak of her family and friends. Family and friends who adore her and fellow bloggers who she has also touched.

She reached out to so many people via her posts and replied to every comment that was left on her blog. And there were many many comments. In her battle she has changed many people's lives by welcoming them into hers. We shared long emails and exchanged cards in the post (as I know she did with many others). I don't know where she found the energy, but she was always full of surprises.

During the time I have known her, Renee has had more than her share of grief. She has lost friends from her support group, her father, her nephew died of cancer, and just over a month ago, her dear mother also died from cancer. One of her sisters is also facing a similar battle. Sadly Renee has now lost her battle too. Though she will not be forgotten.

I am so so sad she is gone, though I am relieved the pain she suffered in her final weeks is now over.
Thank you Renee for everything.
Thank you for your light and joy.
All my love to you.
Cinta
xxx

The following words are from Renee's blog, that she posted in January of 2009.

"I must comfort myself with what I have always comforted myself with ‘words.’ Thank you Francis Bacon for these:

Begin
doing what
you want to do now.
We are not living in eternity.
We have only this moment, sparkling
like a star in our hand –
and melting like a
snowflake.

I remind myself that partly cloudy is partly sunny and that here on this earth right now I have been given the opportunity to live with angels. This life here and now is good and the people I am able to share my life with are good. I have to believe that this time here will not be all there is because my soul will never be full of them. My soul will yearn for them always."
Renee
Jan 26th, 2009.

*The picture above is by the beautiful friend of Renee and artist Julie-Ann Bowden of Heavenleigh Art.

For Brandy... a little bit of magic...

Brandy has been a favourite blogger ever since I started blogging a few years ago. I love her wit and honesty and in particular the way she writes with passion (whatever the subject).

A few days ago I dropped by her blog and was sad to see that she was on an indefinite blogging break. This morning (through another fave) I found out why.

Today Brandy is sending out a plea and I am doing my little bit in the hope that it helps...

—————-

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He’s a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He’s the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He’s the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He’s a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He’s made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He’s listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He’s recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He’s the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I’m overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren’t sure what’s happening. He’ll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what’s going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as ‘brandy’s hot awesome dude’). If you don’t pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven’t seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I’m throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn’t a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It’s just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven’t already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

People we can’t live without but have to let go...

In the last few months I have been thinking a lot about my blogging friend Renee and her family. I met Renee last year when my brother had cancer and she has been an incredible friend ever since. She has stage 4 Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) which she writes about openly and honestly on her blog.

She is incredible, as is her family who have been by her side every step of the way in her fight against her cancer. In more recent months, three other members of her family have been struck by illness and she has found herself as the carer also. Her sister Jacquie is currently in hospital being treated for cancer, her mother has been in hospital (thankfully now home).

But saddest of all (if one can measure levels of sadness, Renee would also agree) is Renee's nephew Sheldon. He was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer a few months ago. I was sad to read on her blog that he died on Friday. He was only 25 years old. His family are understandably devestated.

She posted this quote on her blog a few days ago and it has been in my thoughts ever since. Lots of love to you and your family Renee. I am so so sorry for your loss.

"There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go."
Anon.