Thinking about you..

"If I had a single flower for every time I think about you... I could walk forever in my garden."

Claudia Ghandi

To my beautiful brother

It's been 2 years since we lost you...

You are in my thoughts every day.

I will miss you and love you always

& Forever.

xxx

New York City, September 11, 2010...

Saturday September 11, 2010.

Nine years since the terrorist attacks on The World Trade Center Twin Towers and I remember it well, as I am sure you probably do too.

The shock
The emotion
The disbelief
The imagination
The horror

The enormity of the event as it unfolded before our eyes. Visions that will forever be remembered. The horror of it all, and the realisation that lives were being destroyed and families torn apart.

And in its aftermath and the loss of so many people, the overwhelming grief and deep sense of sadness.

Visiting NYC, I was always going to go there. To see the site. To pause. To pay my respects. And to reflect. To be here on the anniversary, I wanted to go to the memorial and to stand alongside strangers in a moment of silence and to listen quietly as the names of victims were read by family members.

It was an odd sensation, to be standing there surrounded by thousands of people, in the city that never sleeps... in a city crowded with buildings and traffic, looking toward a gaping hole where the twin towers previously stood. And although traffic and the noises of the city never totally abated, I imagine it was as quiet as NYC ever gets.

A woman stood nearby holding an American flag and clutching a sign displaying the picture of a loved one lost, others walked by wearing T-shirt memorials. Police and firefighters stood scattered throughout the crowd and in small groups. And all of us remembering those moments nine years ago, as we stood together in the city streets and American flags flew at half mast.

I have included some images of the memorial below. The image at the top of the post* is an evening shot taken from the sunset ferry on the night of the 11th and shows the two beams shining into the heavens from the site of the WTC. (This is a once a year occurance)

This image was taken later in the day from the Statue of Liberty ferry on the way back from Ellis Island. And just to put it all in perspective, the black building to the left of the flag, is HALF the height of the WTC, which stood at 110 floors.

*Sunset photo taken by blogging buddy Patty who spent 4 days with us in NYC. Thanks Patty for sharing your pic. All remaining images are by moi!

Remembering Renee

My friend Renee died today.

In 2008 when I was grieving the loss of my brother, I was contacted by Renee via my blog and she became a friend from the very beginning. She had stage 4 inflammatory breast cancer and her blog Circling My Head told her story. With almost daily posts, she spoke of her family, her loves, her despair, her joys and her laughter. She shared openly about her condition and her life as she dealt with it's daily challenges.

She offered me hope, understanding and insight, and she offered me her love with an open heart. Although we have never met 'in the flesh' she has been an incredible friend and I will miss her as part of my life. I share the heartbreak of her family and friends. Family and friends who adore her and fellow bloggers who she has also touched.

She reached out to so many people via her posts and replied to every comment that was left on her blog. And there were many many comments. In her battle she has changed many people's lives by welcoming them into hers. We shared long emails and exchanged cards in the post (as I know she did with many others). I don't know where she found the energy, but she was always full of surprises.

During the time I have known her, Renee has had more than her share of grief. She has lost friends from her support group, her father, her nephew died of cancer, and just over a month ago, her dear mother also died from cancer. One of her sisters is also facing a similar battle. Sadly Renee has now lost her battle too. Though she will not be forgotten.

I am so so sad she is gone, though I am relieved the pain she suffered in her final weeks is now over.
Thank you Renee for everything.
Thank you for your light and joy.
All my love to you.
Cinta
xxx

The following words are from Renee's blog, that she posted in January of 2009.

"I must comfort myself with what I have always comforted myself with ‘words.’ Thank you Francis Bacon for these:

Begin
doing what
you want to do now.
We are not living in eternity.
We have only this moment, sparkling
like a star in our hand –
and melting like a
snowflake.

I remind myself that partly cloudy is partly sunny and that here on this earth right now I have been given the opportunity to live with angels. This life here and now is good and the people I am able to share my life with are good. I have to believe that this time here will not be all there is because my soul will never be full of them. My soul will yearn for them always."
Renee
Jan 26th, 2009.

*The picture above is by the beautiful friend of Renee and artist Julie-Ann Bowden of Heavenleigh Art.

National day of mourning...

Today we will pause to reflect on the tragedy and loss of Black Saturday, February 7th 2009, the worst bushfires in Australian history.

Today at 11am EST, Australians will pay their respects. Thousands are expected to join each other in Melbourne, and many more across Australia, to mourn the lives of those lost in the tragedy.

This photo was taken in Marysville in 2007. This small town, with a population of around 500, has been almost totally destroyed by the fires, with enormous loss of life and property.

The flower is a warratah and is native to Australia.

A long road to recovery...

So an update, because I have been quiet of late... and people have been contacting me to see if I am OK.

So, firstly. Yes. I am.

Thank you for your thoughts and emails. I am truly grateful for all your good wishes.

In regard to the Victorian bush fires, I live in Richmond, Melbourne and whilst I have been feeling the effects of the heat and the smell of bush smoke drifting into the city, I am safe. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for many of my fellow Victorians... so so many have lost everything. There have been nearly 2000 homes lost and lives forever altered. The death toll is absolutely heartbreaking, and as numbers continue to increase, it is of a scale too terrible to comprehend.

I have good friends who have been under threat of ember attack for the last week now, though I am happy to report the level of urgency has declined in the last couple of days and they are now able to leave the house. Roads have re-opened locally so they are able to get to their nearest town. It has been a terrifying time and we have all been feeling helpless. All that we have been able to do is check on them every day and hope that the winds blow in the right direction and do not put them in harms way.

I visited them just 2 weeks before the fires and they warmly welcomed me into their home and I got the local's view of the nearby hills and towns. They live just at the base of the Blue Range which is still burning. At this stage, the only hope of extinguishing the flames is rain. Yes rain. In an area parched due to drought, rain is their only hope, unless the fires burn themselves out of fuel. So it is by no means over. Our hope is this easing of the hot weather has given them more time to re forge containment lines and that there is no more loss.

Family and friends have lost friends in the tragedy, and many more know people who have lost their homes. Victoria and Australia is in mourning... the photos of scarred land, razed homes and destroyed townships has meant we have not escaped. Everyone is feeling the loss to some extent. Ours is merely the surface of the grief.

For those who have survived, they will never escape the memories or the terrors of that day. They have lost family and friends, property, pets, and their livelihoods. I do not pretend to understand what they are going through right now, their grief, their anger, their distress and overwhelming sorrow...I have no doubt, they will continue to hold Black Saturday in their memories for their remaining days and their lives will never be the same. All we can hope for now is that the community continues to support and give generously whatever and whenever they can.

So far there has been nearly $100 Million donated to the Appeal. It sounds like a lot, but this is going to be a long recovery and every cent is needed to start to rebuild the lives of those effected.

If you would like, you can donate online to the Australian Red Cross Victorian Bushfire Appeal.