101 things about me

Thursday, 15 November 2007


A month ago, I wasn't sleeping. In fact the problem was not getting to sleep, but rather staying asleep. There were things on my mind that would prod me until I responded. 3am, when the mind was resting seemed an ideal time to discuss important (and not so important) matters. My eyes would open, and it would start with just one small thing jumping into my mind. Another 'small' thing would interrupt impatiently and be added to the original... and then another and before long, I was wide awake with no hope of sleep.

If I happened to wake at 3, then I would stay awake for a couple of hours before falling back into restless slumber within half an hour of my alarm sounding.

And so, after that first night, whenever I woke at 3am I got up. Over the course of a few weeks it became almost habitual to wake at 3, rise, do 'stuff' (as only 'stuff' is possible at 3am) and return to my bed at 5. My alarm would be reset to 6, when I would get up and get ready for work.

I did a hell of a lot in those hours. I wrote and did filing, I caught up on emails and did a lot of clearing out. I may not have been sleeping, but the therapy was fantastic. The more I did, the more my mind shook me awake and pushed me out of bed. I was a little wired for a while there. I was however, getting to the point of exhaustion. A lot of 'stuff' was getting done, but my mind was sleeping at other times during the day. Weariness was beginning to play tricks on me. I could barely make conversation and intelligent or witty responses were totally beyond me. Blogging was unfortunately one of the victims.

So, here I am, a month later and (almost) regular sleep patterns have returned. Now the problem is more getting up when I want to. Bed is my friend. My 5am walks are suffering and whilst my sleep patterns are a little more sane, I have a growing list of things to do. It seems there is advantage to insomnia, and for maybe a couple of days a week, perhaps I would welcome it. Balance is the key.

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