I think after that last post, I had a mini melt-down!
I read over it in disbelief and realised my hopes were not achievable in the time I had allocated. Totally unrealistic. I also realised I was putting too much pressure on myself, and if I wanted to achieve any of it, I had to prioritise, focus on the immediate and 'shelve' the rest, for when I had time.
And so - here I am. One week later and feeling a little better. I have found benefit in focusing on the 2 most important things on my list right now. I am not good at ignoring the rest, but I am managing to get things done and release some stress. A little.
This Sunday is my fun-run. It is 10km and will be the longest distance I have ever run in one stretch. My longest run in training has been 7.5 of running and 8.5 of running with about 1km of walking (having had a minor hissy fit due to a strong head wind!) I decided the entire 10kms would wait until the day. Heather is also running with me (also a novice) and I worry I will let her down. We ran together on Sunday and we have a similar pace, so I think we will be together most (if not all) of the way.
Sunday. The forecast is for 30 degrees. The run starts at 8am and the evening before is meant to be cool, so it should be OK. My aim is to run the entire distance, slowing if I need to, but no walking and no stopping. My hope is to do it in around 1 hour 10 minutes. I will be (slightly) disappointed if I take longer than 1 hour 20. And then I realise it wasn't THAT long ago I claimed I couldn't even run 5kms!
I have no idea what this is going to be like. I expect it to be tough. I am both dreading it and screaming out in my head "Bring it on!" For someone who always considered 'funrun' the ultimate oxymoron, whatever happens will be pretty incredible. Wish me luck!
I will post after to let you know how I go. 'Before' photos possible, 'after' photos unlikely given the heat radiating off my face is of a radioactive nature and all cameras are at risk within 20 meters.
On top of all that I am preparing for an interview for a course I really want to do next year. I was expecting the interview to be at least a week later, but it is now scheduled for next Tuesday, and so the timing has caused more pressure than I had wanted. I have to prepare a folio of artistic work.
Drawing is the main focus, and painting, and calligraphy and book binding... anything of a creative nature is being included. As it is an 'entry level' course, I don't really know what is required, what skill levels they are expecting, the style or range they are hoping for. I am including all I can think of, trying to be selective across a range of work that my inner critic tells me won't be as good as all the other applicants.
Through it all I must try to remember one of my lessons from philosophy. Step by step. Eventually I will get to the destination. Step by step.