I've been pretty cranky this week.
Mostly about work, but not that excited about much else either. September is often like this for me as I drag myself out of my winter slump. But work is especially getting me down. Whenever new work drops into my intray, I sigh with resignation that it's groundhog day again. Same thing, day in, day out.
Most days I just get on with it, but some days it gets me down. Yesterday was one such day. And it showed.
I was less than receptive when Amy (client and also good friend) dropped a job to me and I showed her little enthusiasm. I only managed a weak smile and I later emailed her to apologise. She has known for a long time that I am not happy at my work, and her response was a big cyber hug into my email inbox.
You haven’t been happy here for a long time. That’s before the job crapiness, and before your brother died and everything. I think it’s time we let the butterfly out of the cage... Where would you like to spread your wings Miss?
And herein lies my biggest problem. I really don't know. I have absolutely NO eFn IDEA where to spread my wings.
Her reply to me:
Ok, tell me when in the last 5 – 10 years you have felt happiness. When have you been complete and most at peace. Give me a place, or an event, or a set of circumstances. Just think about it and then type without judgement...
And so she reminded me once again to look for my happiness where I have found it in the past...
Learning new stuff.
Especially creative things.
Spending time creating and being with people who are positive and enthusiastic about doing the same.
And writing.
And hanging out with friends.
And family at the right times.
And when I am challenging myself.
And feeling good about myself.
These things make me happy.
But right now... I feel like a troll.
An angry shitty, disagreeable TROLL.
With bad hair.
send.
And the wise (and loving) reply...
Well, so far I haven’t seen anything that can’t be fixed. You may have momentarily forgotten this, so I’ll happily remind you...
Ah hem. You are a wonderful, kind, creative, talented, inspiring, motivated, funny, gorgeous, warm, caring, articulate, sensitive, original and incredibly strong woman. You WILL find a way to get back to your whole self, it’s coming, promise. You continue to grow your repertoire of talents, whether that’s in the creative area, or just dealing with different sorts of people, all of these are the skills that will get you to where you want to go. Go home tonight and do something that makes you feel more like you. And a $15 bottle of hair colour does amazing things for a girl’s confidence, trust me! ;)
Awww Ames... what can I say, but thanks. Your reminders and support have got me through to the end of the week. How awesome, that whilst working in a job that I don't much like, I have found such a great friend. That alone makes coming in every day that much easier. Thanks.
Oh, and that hair dye is top of my shopping list for the weekend.
It's a good place to start. And a bit of a lazy start on Saturday.
Have a nice weekend everyone.
8 comments:
Not often I start a Friday with happy tears, but thank you. I didn't do anything you haven't done for me over and over again.
Enjoy your weekend.
xoxoxoxo
It's so great to have such a wonderful friend looking out for you. Hope you have a lovely weekend and don't forget the hair dye!
Ain't this just the perfect illustration of how valuable friends are!!! Go Amy!!! And JES, life is a roller coaster, just enjoy the climbs and scream with your arms in the air for the downs!!!
Now, for the shameless plug. I know a great way to start your weekend!!! Yup, breakfast or brunch at seven:am!!!
See you soon.
I agree with your friend, about everything. Even the hairdye - I have a bottle lined up for the weekend!
I was in a similar place before starting my teaching Dip. Ed. Bored out of my effin' brain, and in a lot of pain from sitting a desk all day. It was really hard to make a move to something different, and, while life is not not perfect, it is interesting, and challenging, and funny, and, I can wear a hello kitty t-shirt to work.
You'll work it out! You will!
I hope you have dyed your hair!!...One of the hardest periods can be when we are desperate for change and not know how to go about it...The good news is, it can and will happen and the sequence of events are never how we thought it would pan out, which gives us a couple of great stories to tell along the way which is also just as invigorating. Revel in the knowledge you know you need change, it's the start of your new journey beginning with your 'new' hair colour ;-)
Hey, I highly recommend The Artist Way by Julia Cameron to help you on your journey. It changed everything for me. I loved it.
Beautiful post Jacinta...and I laughed when I saw Cathy's comment recommending 'The Artist's Way'. I think that was the beginning of a conversation you and I had maybe even as long ago as a couple of years now?
I do a lot of career change coaching and would love to be able to help you (not as a client, as a friend). I'm about to go away for two weeks but if you get a chance to email me when it suits I'll send you some resources that might help and maybe we can have a chat on the phone some time? My email is kate at totalbalance.com.au.
Here's a beautiful Rumi quote I stumbled upon the other day that I believe to be true.
'There is one thing that we all must do. If we do everything else but that one thing, we will be lost. And if we do nothing else than that one thing, we will have lived a glorious life.' Rumi
What a lovely post - and I know how you feel, I also struggle with my job and would have a crafts-only life and toss 7-15 work of mine. I am so happy both you and I have most wonderful friends in our lives!
Happy Friday!
Yours,
Mia
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